{acimaudio LS-2010-03-23-ACIM-Gather.MP3 }

Topic: The UnHealed Relationship
Teaching: Awakenings: The UnHealed Relationship
Host: Larry Seyer
Class: http://www.acimgather.org
Copyright: © A Course in Miracles – NTI
Workbook Topics Discussed:

Let me recognize the problem so it can be solved.
Let me realize today that the problem is always some form of grievance that I would cherish. Let me also understand that the solution is always a miracle with which I let the grievance be replaced. Today I would remember the simplicity of salvation by reinforcing the lesson that there is one problem and one solution. The problem is a grievance; the solution is a miracle. And I invite the solution to come to me through my forgiveness of the grievance, and my welcome of the miracle that takes its place.
Specific applications of this idea might be in these forms:

This presents a problem to me which I would have resolved.
The miracle behind this grievance will resolve it for me.
The answer to this problem is the miracle that it conceals.

Let me recognize my problems have been solved.
I seem to have problems only because I am misusing time. I believe that the problem comes first, and time must elapse before it can be worked out. I do not see the problem and the answer as simultaneous in their occurrence. That is because I do not yet realize that God has placed the answer together with the problem, so that they cannot be separated by time. The Holy Spirit will teach me this, if I will let Him. And I will understand it is impossible that I could have a problem which has not been solved already.
These forms of the idea will be useful for specific applications:

I need not wait for this to be resolved.
The answer to this problem is already given me, if I will accept it.
Time cannot separate this problem from its solution.

Text Topics Discussed:

In each and every case that we see a 'problem' with another person, we have forgotten that the 'log that is in our eye' is obscuring the truth.

We think we see something wrong with our partner. There is nothing 'wrong' with them. 'They' are to blame for everything that is wrong with the relationship. However, the problem is with our thinking. (judgment)

We may think "they don't do 'this' or they can't do 'that'" … or "I wish they wouldn't do (fill in the blank)" or even "If only they would do XYZ, then our lives would be perfect".

But we have forgotten that they are perfect. We can think of them as 'another me' or even 'the perfect mirror'… whatever is helpful is appropriate.

see: http://acim.miraclevision.com/pre-searchable/v1-text-31-08.html#Chapter13

We need remember that what we see is a perfect reflection of the state of our unhealed mind.

We could not see imperfection in them if we did not judge ourselves as imperfect. If you think you see a problem with your partner, that 'perceived' problem is a belief that you have about yourself!

"…seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world"

see: http://www.circleofa.org/course_miracles/T-21.In.php

This is the 'secret' of happiness. There is nothing wrong with the world, your partner, or anything that you believe exists in your world.

There may be, however, a voice in your mind that you have chosen to listen to that is speaking untrue ideas and you have chosen to believe them as 'true' (i.e. beliefs).

Ask not to change your partner. Instead, ask to see him/her differently. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what 'lesson' you are to learn in this relationship.

The answer is always given… if you will only listen and accept the Truth.

Q "Is it possible to be too perfect?"

It is impossible to be 'too perfect'.

Perfection does not have degrees. It is all encompassing. It is.

But it is possible to judge 'perfect' as something that it is not.

If your partner feels they 'need' someone else for whatever reason, let them experience it. You lose nothing. You only gain. If they are meant to be with you, they will appreciate the wisdom you have remembered and chosen to share with them.

All experiences are shared although you may choose to believe that you are separate from them currently. (you are not). When we return to our 'right mind', ALL experiences of EVERYONE during EVERY LIFETIME are shared… there is no separation.

There is only one of us here!

By letting them experience what they 'believe' to be their 'needs', you can only gain from this attitude – if not now, later, when you are ready to accept that they ARE you!

Instead, love them, without conditions and without expectations.

Acceptance (a code word for forgiveness) can be difficult. However, the first step is to stop the thinking, stop the judging, and allow the love to flow without conditions.

No one can hurt you. You can only experience 'hurt' or 'pain' by your own agreement to experience it. This comes from deep seated guilt in your belief of guilt. (i.e. "A guiltless mind cannot suffer" – ACIM)

Know this.

You are loved beyond all of your dreams. You and I are ONE!

You are Everything

…including the experience of believing you are separate from your partner… including the experience that you are 'not' them… including all of the experiences that you are feeling right now.

It is just an experience – it is not real. Accept whatever 'pain' this situation has to offer you – let it 'wash' all over you. Once the experience gives you whatever it has to give you, it has nothing else to give you and will eventually leave your awareness.

Cry, Breathe, Relax, Meditate, Exercise, do whatever makes you feel better KNOWING that what you are going through right now will pass and you are completely loved – safe beyond all harm.

This is just an experience and cannot harm you in any way.

With love.

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